It`s not a secret that the "feeling" of being alone is probably one of the most feared ones in our world. Many of us would do anything to avoid being physically alone as much as possible, sometimes we prefer to be around negative people or environments just to avoid being alone or feeling "lonely". We might not realize it at first, but sometimes it is better to be alone than being around those who don't offer any positivity or won't contribute with our personal growth in any way.
But what does really make us feel lonely? I think it all starts with a belief. When I say the "belief" of being lonely, I am referring to the fact that we can't feel that way until we fully believe we really are. The interesting thing is that for many of us, our definition of "loneliness" is only related to the physical absence of others around us and nothing else. But what if the concept of loneliness is more related to not being able to open up to others? If we are honest with ourselves, we would realize that what really triggers the feeling of "loneliness' within ourselves is our limitation of not being able to express ourselves to the world. When I say express, I mean every single area of life, not just the areas that we seem to have in common with others.
If we step back to see the big picture of how our society is designed, how friendships are created, how we are raised, the type of conversations we regularly have with others, we can realize that most of our conflicts or issues come from simply not being able to freely speak about what truly matters to us. Most of us fear the judgement and rejection from others, many might deny it, we might say; Whaaat? meee? Im not afraid to speak my mind to "anybody"....hmm Oh really?` Let's don't lie to ourselves; Talking 24/7 about work, sports, hobbies or parties, doesn't prove anything, there is only so far we can go if we create our reality based on only a few particular spectrums of life. If we allow the opinion of others stop us from speaking about the things we really want to say, we can only go as far as others allow us.
I truly understand how many of us might feel sometimes or most of the time for not being able to express what we really care about. When I say I truly understand it, I really mean it. I say it straight up, I used to be somebody who kept most of what I truly cared about to myself since childhood. Many times I felt as if most people would not believe it, understand it or they would just reject it. The day I realized that there is nothing more important than my own personal growth and happiness, that was the day when I didn't care anymore. I started speaking and asking questions no matter who is in front of me. I know its not easy at first because there is always somebody who has a judgmental opinion about us, or they simply don't understand it so we fear their reaction, but that's ok. I don't think its our business or responsibility to control what others see or reject in us. If there is something valuable that I have learned is the fact that we are always going to end up with the right ones as long as we are truthful to ourselves. It has never been about the quantity of people around us but the quality.
If we feel we can't fully express our feelings to others, well; I think it's time to change environments, friendships, relationships,or any other thing that might be restricting us from moving forward or being ourselves. It's very common to hear many of us claiming how much we love ourselves, but I think It's contradictory to say; "I love myself" if we still restrict ourselves or put limitations in our personal growth by not speaking about what we truly want to avoid the rejection or judgement from others. Let's keep in mind that people can only see their own perspective, and no matter how rejected or judged we are, everyone is simply doing their best based on their capacity to understand. So it's always good to keep it in mind to reduce the amount of stress within, so we don't always suffer because of the reaction of others when we try to open up to them. There is always somebody who appears in our reality to listen or answer our questions once we start opening up to the world. The universe can't send us the answers we are looking for until we first ask them or put them out there.
Ps: I don't perceive such a thing as "taboo" or something I can't talk about. I believe there is always a way to talk about anything in life without judgement if we really want to so we can get to the root of anything. And I think once we truly love ourselves and understand how to become our own best friend, being "physically" alone becomes a gift, it's guaranteed.
"I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone."
- Robin Williams
"When asked what surprised him most about humanity, answered; Man.... Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.
- Dalai Lama